💗smile, you're beautiful💗
how do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber
ask them to pronounce “unionized”
Holy fuck thats clever
It took me 5 minutes to get this
Oh fuck you.
Smart people jokes be like
what do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?
I don’t know. What?
a condescending con descending.
That was beautiful
It’s 2:30 am and all I’m thinking about is your legs intertwined with hers. And your arms locked together as if you were to let go she would float away. Well maybe she should float away. It took her two weeks to get to your heart and it took me two years. It took you five minutes to get into her pants it took you one and half years to even get a kiss from me. I know we are two completely different people and I know that she would never know how to love you as much as i did. But I don’t know how you could fall so easily and hard for her. And you couldn’t even do it for me. I told you everything. I showed you every little inch of me. I shared parts of my body I didn’t want you to touch but you did. And now I’m left here, drinking vodka trying to get as drunk as I could get, to get you off of my mind. The sad part is I can’t. I would want to bump into you someday and catch up with you. Whether it be five, ten, or even twenty years from now. I will still love you, no matter how many times you hurt me. I will still love you.