off the rails.
Home   ▲       ▲   Ask me anything. i'm an open book.

suluboo:

relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead 

yungbasedblogger:

teacher: why are you late?

me:image

oliveaisfierce:

My friends and I at the dances.

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crazie-for-god:

deanisanactualprincess:

kevinssecretplace4546:

justanotherklainer:

baptisms:

do puppets realize they’re always being anally fisted

 i though it said puppies and was concerned

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JEFF DUNHAM EVERYBODY

Gotta love Jeff Dunham

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off the rails.
off the rails.
off the rails.
d0rk-face:

gameraboy:

Sleeping Beauty (1959)

No, me every morning.
greatwhiteprivilege:

didn’t take long
love-hard-love-forever:

barrelr:

zipping:

I was telling my friend a story the other day and it must have taken too long because he quietly took out his wallet and handed this to me.
He literally carries like 50 of them at all times.

Damn.

He’s a genius!!
nxghtingales:

WAIT I THOUGHT IT WAS “READY TO DRINK -  SHAKE WELL - POUR OVER ICE” FOR A SECOND I NEED A BREAK
cursedkitetsu:

relahvant:

asktheteamofscientists:

hobgoblinhero:

danadies:

yes-master-thank-you-master:

The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.

Jizz and jet

shoot and scoot

blow your load and hit the road

bust ya nut and off ya strut


Relieve then leave